Starting at a new school can be daunting for children and their families. Whether a five‑year‑old in southern New Jersey or a teenager in North Carolina, the first day raises questions about familiar faces, lunch companions, and recess playmates.
Parental Role in Early Friendships
Licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Asha Barber Sutton emphasizes that parents have a significant impact on the friendships their children form. By arranging activities such as park visits, birthday gatherings, and regular playdates, caregivers create natural opportunities for connection.
Iman Fair‑Seldon’s mother, Amira Fair, shares that she makes a point to exchange contact information with other parents and attend birthday events, even when she prefers to keep to herself. “I make it my business to schedule monthly playdates,” she said.
Teaching Kids What Makes a Good Friend
Experts advise parents to help children identify qualities they value in friends—kindness, honesty, and the ability to be themselves. Asking questions like, “What qualities do you like in your friends?” gives children a framework for evaluating relationships and handling conflict.
Fourteen‑year‑old Jaiden Journet, who recently began high school in North Carolina, suggests parents ask their teens, “Have you found anything you have in common with anyone?” This simple prompt can spark connections based on shared interests.
Encouraging Extracurricular Involvement
Participation in clubs, sports, theater, or debate can introduce children to peers with similar passions. Sixteen‑year‑old Shia Watts discovered friends through a theater production at Notre Dame High School in Sherman Oaks, California. Likewise, Jamir Gonzalez joined basketball and debate teams after transferring to Uncommon Camden Prep High School in New Jersey.
“If you have any hobbies, find out if they exist at your school and talk to the people there,” Gonzalez advises.
Starting Conversations and Managing Technology
Simple gestures—smiling, offering compliments, and asking open‑ended questions—can break the ice. Iman recalls meeting her “B‑F‑F‑F‑F” after complimenting a classmate’s shirt.
Experts note that excessive phone or headphone use can hinder face‑to‑face interaction. Parents are encouraged to set reasonable expectations for device use, especially during school hours, while avoiding overly harsh restrictions that may isolate teens.
Maintaining Friendships Across Distances
Technology also serves as a bridge when families move. Video calls and messaging allow children to stay connected with friends from previous schools, reducing the sense of loss that can accompany relocation.
Impact on Well‑Being
Research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention links a sense of belonging at school to better mental health, higher academic performance, and lower rates of substance use and violence. Even a single strong friendship or trusted adult can make a meaningful difference, according to Nicole Hockley of Sandy Hook Promise.
For nervous students, remembering that many peers are also seeking connection can ease anxiety. “There’s someone else just like you in that same space who’s also saying, ‘I would like to meet someone,’” Hockley says.
Original reporting: Dallas TX News (HLL/CB) — read the source article.
