By OBBM Network Editorial Staff

Derived from an episode of Leading Leaders TV.

He stood beside a massive, seven‑foot‑wide Ford door, the engine still smoldering, and shouted, “I told you the conutinator valve was bad!” The moment captured the raw energy of a problem solved and a lesson learned, setting the stage for a deeper exploration of how we view ourselves and the words that shape us.

The Antique Looking Glass: A Tool for Self‑Reflection

In the latest installment of Leading Leaders TV, host J. Loren Norris introduces the seventh tool of his transformation framework: the antique looking glass. Unlike a literal mirror, this concept urges listeners to scrutinize the language they use daily. Norris asks, “Why do I repeat those phrases? Where did those things come from in my life? Are they valid?” The goal is to filter out inherited or unexamined expressions that may be steering behavior without conscious consent.

He cites Webster’s definition of validity—“well‑grounded or justifiable, being at once relevant and meaningful”—to underscore that not every phrase we repeat serves a constructive purpose. By treating words as data points, individuals can decide which to keep, revise, or discard, fostering a more intentional self‑narrative.

Motivation Matters: Distinguishing Intent from Impact

The conversation pivots to motivation behind the words we hear. Norris shares a personal anecdote about a fire‑department colleague whose joke about “prop wash” and “truck soap” missed the mark, revealing that the speaker’s intent was to mock rather than to instruct. He emphasizes that “the words were not valid, and the motivation was wrong,” illustrating how humor can become a veil for criticism.

When feedback originates from a place of care—whether from a mentor, parent, or coach—the same words, even if uncomfortable, can be catalysts for growth. Norris advises listeners to ask two questions: Are the words valid? And is the motivation behind them sincere? If both align, the advice warrants attention; if not, it may be best to discard.

Authority and the Power to Accept Correction

Authority, Norris argues, is not merely about rank or badges. He recounts a Gomer Pyle‑style scenario where a senior officer demands proper salutes, using the moment to illustrate how authority can be exercised constructively. “The more we see defiant, negligent, disrespectful behavior in public, the more we’ll see a downfall of society,” he warns, linking personal respect for authority to broader social health.

Crucially, individuals must decide who holds authority over their personal development. By consciously granting the right to correct them—whether a teacher, friend, or spiritual leader—people open themselves to meaningful change. This selective empowerment prevents the “haters” of social media from dictating self‑worth.

Practical Steps: Applying the Antique Looking Glass

To operationalize the concept, Norris suggests a simple three‑step process:

1. Identify recurring phrases that influence your decisions.
2. Trace their origins—family, culture, media—to assess relevance.
3. Evaluate validity and motivation, keeping only those that are both.

He illustrates the method with a childhood baseball memory: the chant “keep your eye on the ball” propelled him to an inside‑the‑park home run, yet he later realized the phrase also limited his instinct to run. By questioning the phrase’s ongoing relevance, he learned to balance focus with action.

When faced with criticism, Norris recommends a direct approach: “Ask the person, ‘Were those words for me? Were they meant to help me grow?’” This dialogue clarifies intent and prevents misinterpretation, ensuring that corrective feedback serves its intended purpose.

Broader Implications: Building Resilient Communities

The antique looking glass extends beyond individual growth; it offers a blueprint for healthier community discourse. In a society saturated with “distractions on purpose,” as Norris puts it, encouraging citizens to filter language can reduce polarization and foster mutual respect. When public figures and local leaders model intentional speech, they set a standard that ripples through families, schools, and workplaces.

Ultimately, the practice champions authenticity. By aligning words with genuine motivation, individuals cultivate confidence, and communities benefit from clearer, more compassionate communication.

In a world where every comment can be amplified, the ability to discern valid, well‑intentioned language becomes a vital skill. As J. Loren Norris demonstrates, the antique looking glass is not merely a metaphor—it is a practical instrument for personal transformation and societal improvement.

The full episode of Leading Leaders TV is available on OBBM Network TV.