Minneapolis has earned an unexpected distinction in a quirky new study released by NapLab.com. Among the 50 largest U.S. metropolitan areas examined, the Twin Cities landed in the top ten “safest” locations for vampires – a tongue‑in‑cheek way of saying the city offers few conveniences for the undead.
What the study measured
Researchers compared fourteen factors that could make a city more or less attractive to vampires. The criteria ranged from practical concerns such as coffin prices and the density of funeral homes, to cultural elements like the number of religious organizations, to ecological factors such as bat species diversity and the amount of sunshine.
Key reasons Minneapolis scored low on vampire appeal
Coffin costs. Minnesota’s average coffin price tops the nation at $9,697, according to the study. For a creature that only needs a resting place during daylight hours, that price tag is a steep financial hurdle.
Religious presence. The city hosts roughly 20.96 religious organizations per 100,000 residents. Traditional vampire lore holds that crosses and holy water are effective deterrents, making a high concentration of churches and other faith groups a disadvantage for any nocturnal visitor.
Bat populations. While Minnesota is home to eight bat species, the study found that the sheer number and variety of bats in the region were insufficient to create a welcoming environment for vampires hoping to blend in or recruit.
How Minneapolis compares nationally
On the overall ranking, Minneapolis placed eighth, just behind Denver (No. 7). New York City claimed the top spot as the safest city for vampires, while Cleveland was identified as the most vampire‑friendly metropolis.
Another recent report labeled Minneapolis as one of America’s most dangerous cities for residents, but the vampire‑focused analysis offers a lighter‑hearted counterpoint: the city’s unique mix of high coffin prices, strong religious community, and modest bat presence keeps the undead at bay.
Local perspective
City officials have not commented on the study, noting that the findings are more novelty than policy. Nonetheless, the results underscore Minneapolis’s broader reputation for a vibrant faith community and a robust local economy capable of supporting higher‑priced goods such as premium coffins.
For residents who enjoy a good laugh about the city’s quirks, the ranking provides a fun talking point while also highlighting some of the practical realities that make Minneapolis a distinctive place to live.
What’s next?
NapLab.com plans to update its rankings annually, potentially adding new metrics such as daylight hours and seasonal temperature swings. As Minnesota continues to experience long, dark winters, future studies may see shifts in how the city ranks on this unconventional scale.
Original reporting: News Talk 1340 KROC-AM – News and Talk – Rochester News Radio — read the source article.
