Renowned psychologist Angela Duckworth, author of the bestselling book on “grit,” argues that the key to lasting change isn’t sheer mental force of will, but reshaping the situations that surround us. In her new book, Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, Duckworth shares research and practical tips for anyone looking to break bad habits or reach long‑term goals.
Why willpower falls short
Willpower can feel like a muscle that quickly tires. Duckworth points to a recent Pew survey showing that more than half of American adults admit they spend too much time on their phones, with younger adults even higher. Many try New Year’s resolutions to cut screen time, yet a 2025 YouGov poll found nearly eight in ten Americans still charge their phones next to their beds. Relying on mental force of will alone, Duckworth says, rarely works.
Change the situation, not just the mindset
Duckworth’s research demonstrates that people who modify their environment succeed more often and experience less temptation. Simple steps—charging a phone in another room, placing workout clothes by the bed, or keeping tempting foods out of easy reach—create physical distance that translates into psychological distance. “Essentially, use physical distance to create psychological distance,” she advises.
Lean on peers and mentors
Beyond environment, Duckworth emphasizes the power of community. She cites examples from Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps to pop star Taylor Swift, noting that each had coaches, mentors, or supportive friends who helped keep them accountable. In her book, she highlights a start‑up incubator that funded companies like Dropbox and Airbnb in groups, allowing founders to share guidance and encouragement.
“We really need a feeling like we’re doing things in a group,” Duckworth says. Her own daughters now work out together at the gym, reinforcing the idea that showing up for another person makes the effort more enjoyable.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help
Duckworth admits that seeking outside support can feel like admitting failure, but she argues the opposite. She recounts a rocky period in her marriage that improved only after she “called in the cavalry”—family, friends, and therapy. That experience reshaped how she approaches both personal and professional challenges.
She now collaborates with other scientists rather than conducting research alone, and her husband, president of a real‑estate firm, assembled an advisory board of trusted mentors to guide his decisions. “Find ways to make your situation your ally. And don’t be ashamed of it,” Duckworth urges.
Practical steps to apply Duckworth’s advice
- Identify a habit you want to change.
- Adjust the physical environment to make the undesired behavior harder (e.g., move the phone out of the bedroom).
- Place cues for the desired behavior within easy reach (e.g., lay out workout gear the night before).
- Enlist a friend, family member, or mentor to check in regularly.
- Celebrate small wins together to build momentum.
By focusing on situational changes and community support, Duckworth believes individuals can achieve their goals with less stress and greater satisfaction.
Original reporting: Texarkana Gazette — read the source article.
