I was sitting at a restaurant with James, a longtime friend, and Blake, a colleague of his. James thought our companies were a good fit, and I was asking Blake about his business when a man stopped abruptly at our table.
“Are you Blake?” he asked. “I’m Kevin. We went to high school together.”
Blake was surprised. “I’m impressed you recognize me. That was a long time ago.”
“Except for a little gray hair,” Kevin said, “you look pretty much the same.”
After Kevin left, James had his head down. “I went to that same high school,” he said quietly. “I sat in Kevin’s English class my junior and senior years, but he didn’t recognize me. We’re all the same age, but I look ten years older. I’m nearly 40 pounds overweight. I stopped working out and started internalizing my stress instead of leaving it at the gym. I’m on six medications I hate taking.” He gestured at himself. “I got all this on my way to success.”
Then he looked at me and said, “I abandoned one of the Absolutes.”
Success has a price tag
Most leaders chase success because they equate it with happiness. But the way we pursue success often requires sacrificing something we value even more – our health, our marriage, our integrity, our peace. Success is fraught with compromise that often yields regret.
I finally realized I didn’t want success. I wanted abundance.
Success is about acquisition. Abundance is about alignment. Success measures what you’ve achieved. Abundance measures how fully you live. Success is about external markers. Abundance is about internal integration. Abundance is a sustainably fulfilling life where success no longer demands forfeiting something of great value.
Like James, I learned this the hard way. Years ago, I landed a prestigious project for my company. The client made every meeting, email and call miserable. For eight months, I slept poorly, ate inconsistently, stopped exercising and failed to support my team when they needed me most. We delivered an extraordinary result that was transformational for the client’s company. Less than two months later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Looking back, I had traded my health and my supportive leadership style for a successful project. And I asked myself the question that changed my life: What part of this success was worth what it cost?
Every decision asks you to forfeit something
Nobody wakes up and says, “Today I’ll sacrifice my health.” Nobody decides to compromise their marriage or their financial freedom. They think they’re landing a client. Buying a car. Working one more Saturday. The hidden cost isn’t obvious until later. Business leaders are accustomed to making tough decisions. The Absolutes are about making the right ones.
That’s why I developed The Sovereignty Imperative. We all possess the sovereignty of choice – the freedom to choose almost any destination we want. But without principles to guide those choices, freedom can become the very thing that destroys what we value most. Our lives are shaped less by the opportunities we pursue than by the principles we use to evaluate them.
The Sovereignty Imperative framework rests on six Absolutes that define what matters most.
Why?
Because abundance isn’t achieved by pursuing more. It’s built by protecting what matters most.
The Absolutes aren’t goals. They are the six pivotal points in life – where leaders often pay the most hidden costs. Think of the Absolutes as life’s six vital signs. A doctor doesn’t only check your heart rate; a perfect pulse means nothing if your blood pressure is dangerously high.
No accomplished leader measures business success by revenue alone – a one-dimensional measure. They also consider employee retention, brand recognition, market share, client feedback, referral flow, and so much more. Why treat your life any differently?
The vital signs of an abundant life extend beyond financial measurements to include faith, health, authenticity, relationships and civic accountability.
High-performing CEOs, entrepreneurs and leaders know that quality of life (multidimensional) is abundance whereas the quality of a career (one-dimensional) is success.
This is why I purposely ask the question: “Why settle for success?”
The six Absolutes are designed to serve as indicators – markers – balancing internal and external metrics and reinforcing multidimensional decision making to ensure internal values match external actions. All six are equally important and include:
• Faith Vitality – maintaining a vibrant, interactive relationship with God that is
consistent and progressive regardless of your crowded calendar.
• Personal Authenticity – identifying your values, purpose, and mission and
exhibiting the behavior that reflects them.
• Health Fidelity – demonstrating a devotion to the health of your body and mind
through physical activity, prudent food choices, and protection of downtime and sleep.
• Relationship Integrity – building relationships with your spouse, family, team,
friends, service providers and clients that foster trust.
• Financial Liberty – responsibly investing, spending, saving, budgeting and
tithing to better enjoy the present and ensure a financially sound future.
• Civic Accountability – defending the Constitution that protects your way of life
and preserves the personal and business liberties that make independence
possible.
Six Absolutes – fewer than the Ten Commandments. How hard can it be to honor six guidelines?
It’s hard.
This isn’t a feel-good philosophy. It’s a decision-making framework, and most people will forfeit at least one Absolute.
I was no exception. My Achilles’ heel was Financial Liberty. In business, I honor budgets, pay taxes, maintain spreadsheets, and monitor profit and loss. I run financially sound companies. At home, I treated a budget like a disposable tissue. Here’s a perfect example.
While I was going through chemotherapy, my team closed a major contract. I handed out bonuses – and then I called the Lexus dealership and ordered a new convertible. Two days later, it arrived with a giant bow on the hood. It was beautiful. It was my dream car. It was not in my budget. It cut into what I had set aside each month for retirement and donations. I was driving a sign of success, but that single decision cost me something I valued more than the car itself: financial liberty. After the purchase, my own words rattled around in my head: abundance isn’t achieved by pursuing more. It’s built by protecting what matters most.
As I embraced the consistent application of the Sovereignty Imperative Absolutes, business got better, my relationships became richer, my health improved dramatically, and my sleep was more peaceful. Every aspect of my life became more fulfilling. I not only live by the Absolutes, but I also teach other business and civic leaders how to use the same framework.
How one leader applied the Absolutes
A client of mine – I’ll call him John – sold high-end custom cars. He was a self-made millionaire with a devoted wife, healthy kids and a beautiful home. He stayed fit, served on his city council and was a respected leader in his church. And he nearly put all of it at risk.
One of his best customers – a man who had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on custom cars and sent John just as much business – asked a favor: persuade the rest of the council to approve a zoning change so he could open a CBD store near a middle school.
“At first it seemed like a simple request,” John told me. “I even drew up a plan to win the votes. About five days before the meeting, I ran the decision through the Sovereignty Imperative process.”
The decision didn’t threaten his Financial Liberty or his Health Fidelity. But it failed four other tests. Would he want that store near his own kids’ school? Was it truly in the best interest of his community or self-serving? Was he strengthening one client relationship while sacrificing his integrity with his fellow council members?
“It wasn’t illegal,” John said. “But promoting it was out of alignment with my personal values, my faith, my civic duty and the trust my community placed in me. I’ve learned all six Absolutes are equally important. Compromise one, and the erosion of the others is inevitable.”
John declined. He did present the request to the council but told them he could not vote for the zoning change and explained the conflict of interest. The council reviewed the request, as there were still enough members to approve the rezoning. Ultimately, the majority did not feel comfortable with the decision, not because of the product line but because of the proximity to the middle school.
As a result, John’s standing on the council remained honorable. The Absolutes remained intact. He chose strategic abundance over short-term success.
Three questions before your next yes
The Sovereignty Imperative isn’t about avoiding every cost. Some sacrifices are worth making. Not long ago, I stopped on Highway 82 to save a starving stray dog who had recently had puppies. Bringing her home cost months of veterinary care and rehabilitation – and I would do it again tomorrow. The question isn’t whether a decision has a cost. It’s whether the cost protects what matters most. After reviewing the short- and long-term costs of the rescue, saving her was worth the cost.
Before your next important decision, ask:
• What is this decision asking me to forfeit?
• Which Absolute will be compromised and at what cost?
• If I keep making decisions like this, what kind of life am I building?
Every decision counts. Buying the Lexus? A cost. Skipping the workout? A cost. Ignoring your spouse? A cost. Working another Saturday? A cost. Today’s decision becomes tomorrow’s spark point – determining the condition your previous decisions leave you in when the next one arrives.
We don’t control every circumstance. I didn’t choose cancer, and John didn’t choose to be asked for a favor by a client. However, we do have sovereignty over every choice we make. And that’s what it takes to build an abundant life.
Don’t settle for success. The Absolutes will absolutely get you the abundance you deserve – and it is so much better.
Jet Parker, Chief Abundance Officer of CEO Wired, hosts the Wired to Spark podcast and writes the CEO Wired and Beyond the Ballot columns for HyperLocal Loop. A CEO, author and strategic advisor with more than 30 years of experience, she co-founded Save Rural Texas. Guided by faith and the Constitution, she helps leaders rewire how they learn, lead and live through her Wired to Spark coaching series. Ask for Spark kit details at [email protected].
