By OBBM Network Editorial Staff

Derived from an episode of Known Legacy.

Imagine a dad who never raises his voice, never issues a command, and still sees his teenage son choose the right response when a sibling rivalry erupts. That’s the power of a single, often‑overlooked skill: asking great questions.

Why Questions Matter More Than Commands

Bill Yuhsas and Travis Hartjen introduce Kent, a father‑mentor who has spent fifteen years helping dads become disciple‑makers. Kent explains that while younger children respond to simple directives, older boys need a different approach. “When they’re 10 or 12 or 16, that just doesn’t work,” he says, emphasizing that commands can foster rebellion rather than responsibility.

He illustrates the point with a recent family incident: his 15‑year‑old witnessed his younger brother being kicked in the groin and then, instead of striking back, said, “Well, my brother did this and that, but I know that doesn’t mean I have the right to hit him back.” Kent calls this moment “stinking happy” because it shows his son exercising agency—a crucial step toward adulthood.

The Current State of Fatherhood in the Church

According to Kent’s surveys of thousands of fathers, the average dad rates his knowledge of Scripture at a D‑minus. He clarifies that he isn’t talking about trivia like spelling Rehoboam or the exact dimensions of the Ark of the Covenant. Instead, the goal is to develop the capacity to think like God, to let Scripture shape decision‑making, not just memorization.

This gap is especially stark in affluent areas where parents tend to “protect” rather than “prepare” their children. Kent warns that rescuing kids from every difficulty stunts their ability to own choices, a habit that later undermines marriages and careers.

Practical Tools From Known Legacy

Listeners are directed to several free resources on knownlegacy.org. The “wake‑up guide” and a seven‑day reset assessment help fathers pinpoint where they stand spiritually and relationally. Kent also highlights a proven father‑son Bible study format: six‑week sessions focused on topics like work, purity, and leadership, designed for small groups of four dads and six kids.

Beyond the study, Kent’s ministry offers books, digital courses, a podcast, and a robust blog—all aimed at equipping dads to ask better questions and think more biblically. He stresses that the ultimate mission remains unchanged: “Help a dad become a disciple maker.”

How to Start Asking Better Questions

The conversation drills down to concrete tactics. First, fathers should shift from issuing orders to probing the motives and thoughts behind a child’s behavior. Instead of saying, “Stop that,” a dad might ask, “What were you feeling when you did that?” This invites reflection and ownership.

Second, Kent recommends consistent exposure to Scripture, not as a set of facts but as a lens for life. He suggests short, daily devotionals and discussions that connect biblical principles to real‑world decisions, helping kids internalize God’s perspective.

Finally, Kent encourages fathers to model vulnerability. Sharing personal struggles creates a relatable environment where kids feel safe to explore their own doubts and convictions.

Broader Significance for Christian Families

The skill of asking good questions transcends any single household. It equips the next generation to navigate a culture that often values instant answers over thoughtful discernment. By fostering agency, fathers lay a foundation for sons who will become godly husbands, leaders, and fathers themselves.

In a world where many dads feel ill‑equipped, Kent’s message offers hope: the tools exist, the community is ready, and the shift from protection to preparation is within reach. As more fathers embrace this approach, the ripple effect could reshape Christian families across the nation.

The full episode of Known Legacy is available on OBBM Network TV.