Uncertainty is a constant in today’s fast‑moving world, and it can feel especially unsettling for families trying to plan for work, school, and health. Psychologists say learning to live with the unknown is a vital skill for a happy, stable life.
Why Uncertainty Matters
Michel Dugas, a professor of psychology at the University of Québec in Outaouais, notes that uncertainty touches every area of life—relationships, health, finances, and more. “Learning to be able to deal with not knowing is a fundamental skill for quality of life,” he says.
Nick Carleton, another psychology professor at the University of Regina, explains that our reaction to uncertainty falls on a continuum. Too much fear can keep people stuck in safe spaces, while too little caution can lead to risky choices that endanger families.
Modern Technology’s Role
Research led by Jeroen van Baar of Boston University School of Public Health reviewed 137 studies on “intolerance of uncertainty” among college students. The review found that average scores have risen substantially over the past three decades. One theory links this rise to smartphones, which eliminate many everyday moments of not knowing. “Having mobile phones in our pockets allows us to know almost everything in an instant,” van Baar says, “which gives us fewer opportunities to become comfortable with not knowing.”
Practical Steps for Families
When uncertainty becomes anxiety that interferes with daily life, professionals recommend seeking help. Treatments often involve behavioral experiments that safely expose people to uncertainty.
For example, Dugas describes a patient who worried obsessively about a test grade. The patient was asked to wait 48 hours before checking the online result. The initial distress was intense, but it faded significantly by the second day, showing that exposure can reduce anxiety.
Smaller, everyday experiments can also help. Leaving a phone at home for a short period, or making a low‑stakes decision without seeking reassurance, builds tolerance for the unknown.
Decision‑Making Strategies
Clinical psychologist Ryan Jane Jacoby of Massachusetts General Hospital advises a two‑step approach when plans go awry. First, determine whether the problem is within your control. If it is, narrow options to three or four reasonable choices, weigh pros and cons, and commit to a decision without repeatedly second‑guessing it.
If the issue cannot be solved, shift from problem‑solving to acceptance. Mindfulness practices or engaging activities can redirect attention from rumination to the present moment.
Embracing the Adventure
American Buddhist author Pema Chödrön, in her book Comfortable with Uncertainty, reminds readers that uncertainty is part of life’s adventure. “We can never avoid uncertainty,” she writes. “This not‑knowing is part of the adventure.”
Both Carleton and Jacoby suggest recalling childhood curiosity—when surprises felt exciting rather than threatening. By remembering that mindset, adults can re‑frame disruptions as potential opportunities rather than sources of dread.
Key Takeaways
- Accept that uncertainty is inevitable and can be a source of growth.
- Limit reliance on smartphones for instant answers to preserve moments of not knowing.
- Use small, controlled exposures to build tolerance for uncertainty.
- When faced with a problem, decide quickly if it’s controllable; otherwise, practice acceptance.
- Remember the excitement of childhood surprises to soften adult anxiety.
By incorporating these strategies, families can strengthen resilience, reduce anxiety, and improve overall well‑being—even when life refuses to follow the script.
Original reporting: NBC10 Boston — read the source article.
