Bernie Sinclaire, a Manhattan teacher and single mother of two, turned a long-held dream into reality when she and friend Anabelle Gonzalez decided to share a home, money and the daily mental load of parenting in New York City. Their experiment began with shared errands and playdates and became a permanent household by December 2024, with Marcos, Nicolas and Sophia at the center. This article follows why they chose a female-centered household, how they made it work and what they hope it might mean for other families.
Sinclaire always pictured an alternative to the traditional nuclear family. “I have letters from me and my college roommate about our Barbie Dream House, living together with no men,” she says, and that childhood fantasy steered her choices as adulthood unfolded. Her interest in matriarchal societies and indigenous communities informed a belief that women can be primary keepers of memory and culture.
Raised as the oldest of six by a single mother, Sinclaire experienced what she calls being “parentified” and watched the strain her mother carried. “Ultimately, because it was an economic struggle, my mom ended up in this situation where she had to choose between poverty and partnership,” Sinclaire explains, and that memory shaped her refusal to accept the same tradeoffs. She wanted kids, not the expectation of becoming a wife simply to secure financial stability.
“I’ve never wanted to live with a man. From my perspective, it is additional labor that is put on the woman, and I feel like that builds resentment in the house,” Sinclaire says plainly. She emphasizes this is not about hating men but about refusing to accept an unequal domestic bargain. The idea of raising children with a network of women felt like a way to split work, lower burnout and center the kids rather than romantic partnerships.
Sinclaire and Gonzalez reconnected after years apart while both were parenting young children, and the relationship evolved slowly. At first they tried what Sinclaire calls “Mommune Level 1”: lots of overlap, cooking together, shared park trips and an upstate getaway with just moms and kids. That low-stakes cooperation showed them how much easier daily life could be when responsibilities were shared and the emotional load was lighter.
When Gonzalez’s romantic relationship ended, moving in became possible. “Girl, what are you talking about?” is how Gonzalez first reacted when Sinclaire proposed combining households, and months later the answer was yes. Gonzalez calls the timing “It was God’s timing,” and both women say the move erased a lot of the isolation and burnout they had felt as solo parents.
The impact was practical and immediate: shared commutes, shared childcare costs and fewer takeout meals and cleaning services eaten up by single incomes. They both teach in the same all-girls school, which cut commute time and bolstered their routines. More important than money, though, was the change in the home’s emotional temperature and the sense that domestic work no longer fell to just one exhausted adult.
“Being equitable is really important for us,” Sinclaire says, and they do not rigidly track 50/50 splits. Instead they respond to each other’s needs with an emotional attunement built from years of doing it alone. “Neither one of us need to walk in the house stomping around and banging things for one of us to notice that the other needs support,” she adds, describing how naturally they cover for one another.
They eventually pooled resources and moved into a larger apartment that offers a playroom and a gym and sits in a nicer neighborhood. The household runs on clear boundaries: “No men that are not related to the family are welcome in the home,” Sinclaire says definitively, framing it as both a cultural choice and a safety measure for the kids. If a man becomes important as a parental figure, the women agree they would discuss how to proceed carefully.
Research voices have chimed in to place this experiment in a longer human story. “The mommune phenomenon is trying to recover something real — the female solidarity we have largely lost,” says Elena Bridgers, who studies hunter-gatherer societies. “We have very good evidence that humans evolved to raise children collectively in communities where women were extremely socially close, collaborated on childcare and protected one another from male domination,” she adds, while noting that fathers have historically remained part of those networks.
Sinclaire is open about the reality that every child in their home still regularly sees their father, and she appreciates that. “Can I imagine wanting to introduce my children to an additional father figure? No. That’s just not what I’m interested in doing,” she says, making clear this arrangement is about friendship, shared labor and parenting priorities rather than exclusion. For now, the household is a protected space where children come first and romantic life happens outside the home.
The social media reaction has been largely encouraging, with followers responding to the joy they share and the model of friendship they present. Gonzalez admits the setup is not perfect but says the arrangement made life far more manageable: “I don’t feel like I’m suffocating just to get through the day.” Both women seem to relish the freedom to be playful and honest about what works for them while offering a different, practical family model to consider.
